When my now 17 year-old son was a wee little lad, we dealt with the trials and tribulations of potty training just like every other exasperated parent. For weeks nothing worked, until one day a stroke of genius fired in the cranium — the pooping shark.
Knowing our son was obsessed with a book about the meat-eating sea killers, we purchased a soft rubber-coated Great White at the local toy store. When introduced to it, he naturally went nuts. But there was a catch. He had to do his business properly. It took two weeks. Achievement unlocked. And a little boy, in the greatest way possible, lost his damn mind.
With conference tournaments among high-major teams about to get underway, a number of notable schools are vying for not No. 2 — but No. 1.
Big 12 Tournament pick: Texas Longhorns (+5000, DraftKings)
Right up there with impossibly scoring BOGO Clase Azul Anejo (it’s limited in supply annually and runs into the hundreds dollars-wise, which for me is one erotic tequila dream) is predicting the practically unfathomable UT future.
Yes, Houston is the runaway favorite (-135) to cut down the nets in Kansas City, but the league’s top tournament seed has climbed the ladder in celebration only once since 2019. It’s March Madness, for the love of the basketball gods. Craziness often occurs.
As the No. 7 seed on the southern side of the Big 12 bracket, the Longhorns wouldn’t have to encounter Kelvin Sampson’s Cougars until the title game, assuming all parties were to arrive.
[ Bracket Big Board: Brad Evans’ NCAA Tournament projections ]
The Fightin’ McConaugheys are the second-highest ranked team in the conference over the last month, according to BartTorvik’s advanced metrics. Separated by only 11 spots from Houston, they rank top-35 over that span in offensive and defensive efficiency. Dylan Disu and Dillon Mitchell have patrolled the paint with marked success, while Max Abmas and Tyrese Hunter have steadily tickled the twine from outside.
On the bracket's bottom half, Kansas State, Iowa State and potentially Baylor present Texas’ likely path. It’s a treacherous one, no question. The Longhorns’ rebounding weakness is also a concern (No. 150+ in OR% and DR% since Feb. 10). Still, due to their low turnover rate and bookend balance, they shouldn’t be slept on.
Yes, a No. 7 seed has never won the Big 12 Tournament. In fact, the lowest seed to raise the trophy was No. 5 Iowa State in 2019. However, the ‘Horns have taken the crown in two of the past three years.
At +5000, this ice-cold gambler is hoping a little sprinkle affords him a bottle of the good stuff.
In the meantime... we have an OFFICIAL bracket for the 2024 Phillips 66 Big 12 Men's Basketball Championship. pic.twitter.com/xzXcBrhe6Y
— Big 12 Conference (@Big12Conference) March 10, 2024

